In an effort to make my life EASIER, I will be shutting down this particular blog page...
DON'T FREAK OUT YET!!!! I'm going to be maintaining my blog at debbieleetorres.blogspot.com and I will repost the best of these blogs for your continued enjoyment!!!
So, please join me at my new blog location...
Deb
xoxoxo
November 18, 2010
November 5, 2010
Long time no blog... WTF?!
Wow! Life has certainly thrown me a lot of amazing curves over the last several months. And, frankly, I couldn't be happier...
Mi Santana went adios... as do with those things in life that aren't meant to be, sometimes we are forced to bid a fond farewell. Thankfully, the end was civil, peaceful, and a friendship between musicians was maintained - for which I am grateful.
But, with endings come new beginnings... shortly after the official end with Mi Santana (although I hadn't actually seen him in nearly two months), I met someone. Not just "someone", but that very special someone that you just know was placed on this earth just for you. That someone that I was pretty sure didn't exist and, if he did, he didn't get the MEMO letting him know that he was supposed to be mine. In fact, not only did he not get it, he just pretty much got completely lost somewhere in the stratosphere...
Well, apparently, Serendipity decided to finally put her foot into the mix and moved him in directly across the street from me. I guess she figured that we just weren't going to find our way to each other any other way... and, let me tell you, I'm so glad she did get involved because HE IS JUST INCREDIBLE!!! Everything I ever dreamed of... everything I ever hoped for... and he's MINE!!!
It's about damn time!!!!
Who knew life could be so amazing? Just when I was OK with being alone. Just when I decided that I would never get involved in another relationship because I was completely content just being all by myself - playing the field and loving it. There he was!!! Checking his mail... and BOOM!
A picture you say??? Ok...
Isn't he just DREAMY?!?!?! Yeah, I think so...
There's so much more to talk about with the music and stuff... but, right now, he's at the forefront of my thoughts and I'm going to keep him there FOREVER!!!
Love y'all!!! And, I promise to try to be better about this whole blog thing...
xoxoxo
Mi Santana went adios... as do with those things in life that aren't meant to be, sometimes we are forced to bid a fond farewell. Thankfully, the end was civil, peaceful, and a friendship between musicians was maintained - for which I am grateful.
But, with endings come new beginnings... shortly after the official end with Mi Santana (although I hadn't actually seen him in nearly two months), I met someone. Not just "someone", but that very special someone that you just know was placed on this earth just for you. That someone that I was pretty sure didn't exist and, if he did, he didn't get the MEMO letting him know that he was supposed to be mine. In fact, not only did he not get it, he just pretty much got completely lost somewhere in the stratosphere...
Well, apparently, Serendipity decided to finally put her foot into the mix and moved him in directly across the street from me. I guess she figured that we just weren't going to find our way to each other any other way... and, let me tell you, I'm so glad she did get involved because HE IS JUST INCREDIBLE!!! Everything I ever dreamed of... everything I ever hoped for... and he's MINE!!!
It's about damn time!!!!
Who knew life could be so amazing? Just when I was OK with being alone. Just when I decided that I would never get involved in another relationship because I was completely content just being all by myself - playing the field and loving it. There he was!!! Checking his mail... and BOOM!
A picture you say??? Ok...
Isn't he just DREAMY?!?!?! Yeah, I think so...
There's so much more to talk about with the music and stuff... but, right now, he's at the forefront of my thoughts and I'm going to keep him there FOREVER!!!
Love y'all!!! And, I promise to try to be better about this whole blog thing...
xoxoxo
August 18, 2010
August 1, 2010
Not enough words in the English language to express how I feel.....
The past seven days have been a roller-coaster... From elation of a great weekend, to being laid off on Monday, to being contacted by a record label that I didn't know even knew I existed to, to becoming Seacoast Records newest artist.
Now the hard work begins...
But, before I throw myself full force into developing myself into the best possible artist I can be for Seacoast, I really feel like I should take a few moments to acknowledge those people in my life who have been (in one way or another) key in helping me be the best I can be.
Of course - let it first be said that - while I am not always the best Christian I can be - God has been good to me regardless. That's true love right there! Nevertheless, through all my shortcomings, I will continue to live my life trying to do less harm than good and, God willing, I will leave this world a better place for having been here.
My parents have been without question my biggest fans. They have also been the first people to give me the reality checks necessary through the process. A great deal of sacrifice has been made by my entire family, including my children, and no amount of words could ever express my love and appreciation to my parents for all they have done, all they do, and all they will continue to do to make my dreams come true.
As I mentioned above, my children... they have sacrificed time with their mother to support me in pursuing my dream. Nevertheless, each and every one know that they are my favorite. When I leave the home to sing, perform, record, or practice, they all give me hugs, kisses, and wish me luck. I have somehow succeeded in teaching them that pursuing your dreams requires sacrifice with a loving heart. They are great kids and I'm a lucky mom...
My producer... first he was an acquaintance, then he became a friend, then he became my best friend, and - when I was ready to throw in the towel - he was the driving force behind keeping me in the game. When I felt there was nothing left, he showed me just how much more left there actually was (and is)... He believed in me when I didn't believe in myself and showed me the truth of my own reflection. My love for him is unfathomable!
My friend John the "Bronco"... in his own words, my #1 Groupie! Even though he's not a fan of country music, he has always given me an welcome ear and been honest with me. His friendship will always be cherished.
Andrea... My girl! My sister-love... The song we co-wrote was the one to impress Seacoast and, without her presence in my life, there is no doubt in my mind that I would not have come this far. I'm pretty sure her mantras have a lot to do with my success!
Very special love to my friend Tony Cullip of Knight Rider Radio. There is no question that he is the direct catalyst for my association with Seacoast Records. THANK YOU!
There are so many people who I have love for who have been my friends, have encouraged me, believed in me, and/or who have inspired me (some of them don't even know how much I appreciate them): Donna Meyer Block, Amber Walters, Dana Hawley, Crystal Zollicoffer, Tammy Whitfield, Shar Stephens, Rick Stewart, Ben Eyre, Buddy Jewell, Carrin Bloomfield, Kathi and David Walker, Ron Hollenbeck, Dave & Betsy Hansgen, Roger & Dianne Hansgen, Ryan Hansgen, Terry Hudson, James Breedwell, Rick and Tammy Stewart, Jason Benefield, Vic Crawford, Jeff Jackson, Jimmy Wayne, JoAnne Shiflett, Joseph Kempton, Harry and JoAnn Cash Yates, Marie Birdsong, Mary Boggs, Shawn Mayer, Denise Thornton... and so many more. These people have been my friends, fans, mentors, role models, etc... I love you all... (if I have unintentionally left anyone out, I apologize)
Finally, to all those who have tried to tear me down, criticize my choices, insulted me, demeaned me, sabotaged me, used me, abused me, talked down to me or about me... I forgive you. Why you ask? Because I have faith in Karma!
Much Love.....
Debbie Lee
Now the hard work begins...
But, before I throw myself full force into developing myself into the best possible artist I can be for Seacoast, I really feel like I should take a few moments to acknowledge those people in my life who have been (in one way or another) key in helping me be the best I can be.
Of course - let it first be said that - while I am not always the best Christian I can be - God has been good to me regardless. That's true love right there! Nevertheless, through all my shortcomings, I will continue to live my life trying to do less harm than good and, God willing, I will leave this world a better place for having been here.
My parents have been without question my biggest fans. They have also been the first people to give me the reality checks necessary through the process. A great deal of sacrifice has been made by my entire family, including my children, and no amount of words could ever express my love and appreciation to my parents for all they have done, all they do, and all they will continue to do to make my dreams come true.
As I mentioned above, my children... they have sacrificed time with their mother to support me in pursuing my dream. Nevertheless, each and every one know that they are my favorite. When I leave the home to sing, perform, record, or practice, they all give me hugs, kisses, and wish me luck. I have somehow succeeded in teaching them that pursuing your dreams requires sacrifice with a loving heart. They are great kids and I'm a lucky mom...
My producer... first he was an acquaintance, then he became a friend, then he became my best friend, and - when I was ready to throw in the towel - he was the driving force behind keeping me in the game. When I felt there was nothing left, he showed me just how much more left there actually was (and is)... He believed in me when I didn't believe in myself and showed me the truth of my own reflection. My love for him is unfathomable!
My friend John the "Bronco"... in his own words, my #1 Groupie! Even though he's not a fan of country music, he has always given me an welcome ear and been honest with me. His friendship will always be cherished.
Andrea... My girl! My sister-love... The song we co-wrote was the one to impress Seacoast and, without her presence in my life, there is no doubt in my mind that I would not have come this far. I'm pretty sure her mantras have a lot to do with my success!
Very special love to my friend Tony Cullip of Knight Rider Radio. There is no question that he is the direct catalyst for my association with Seacoast Records. THANK YOU!
There are so many people who I have love for who have been my friends, have encouraged me, believed in me, and/or who have inspired me (some of them don't even know how much I appreciate them): Donna Meyer Block, Amber Walters, Dana Hawley, Crystal Zollicoffer, Tammy Whitfield, Shar Stephens, Rick Stewart, Ben Eyre, Buddy Jewell, Carrin Bloomfield, Kathi and David Walker, Ron Hollenbeck, Dave & Betsy Hansgen, Roger & Dianne Hansgen, Ryan Hansgen, Terry Hudson, James Breedwell, Rick and Tammy Stewart, Jason Benefield, Vic Crawford, Jeff Jackson, Jimmy Wayne, JoAnne Shiflett, Joseph Kempton, Harry and JoAnn Cash Yates, Marie Birdsong, Mary Boggs, Shawn Mayer, Denise Thornton... and so many more. These people have been my friends, fans, mentors, role models, etc... I love you all... (if I have unintentionally left anyone out, I apologize)
Finally, to all those who have tried to tear me down, criticize my choices, insulted me, demeaned me, sabotaged me, used me, abused me, talked down to me or about me... I forgive you. Why you ask? Because I have faith in Karma!
Much Love.....
Debbie Lee
July 23, 2010
July 25, 1996 – tattooed into my heart and mind….
July 25th, 1996 is a date that is not only tattooed into my heart and mind, it is inked into my skin forever to memorialize my first born child who died when she was just 5 months and 1 day. She suffocated on a waterbed at the sitter's house while I was at work.
I am always forthright about having eight children when people ask me how many kids I have, or when I have to list it anywhere. But, when talking about my children I usually just refer to the fact that I have seven children at home. So, I get asked frequently about the discrepancy (7 vs. 8.) The question usually comes in the form of, “I thought you said you have eight children?” That is when I tell those who ask that I have another child, my first, who passed. Usually, it’s left at that.
Although the fact that I have a child who died comes up often, her life and death are not something I often speak of. It’s not a conversation you really care to have with a complete stranger, and I have mastered the art of side-stepping others’ attempts to garner more information.
Unfortunately, July always ends up being a hard month for me. I usually fall into a significant depression and have a hard time coping with anything overly stressful. Suffice it to say, this year has been INTENSLY difficult for a myriad of reasons…
I guess, when trying to cope with the death of a child, one moves on. By moving on, I don’t mean forgetting in any way. I know there are some people in this world who just can’t get past the loss… people who virtually stop living. But, that wasn’t an option for me. Just a few months after Elisa died, I found myself married and pregnant (another story for another day). I had to pick myself up, dust myself off, and trudge on.
Now, I find myself, 14 years and 7 more children later, still trying to cope with “what might have been.”
But, I do think that, through my own experience, I have managed to finally answer the age old question, “How do you get over losing a child?”
The Answer? You don’t. You don’t get over her. You don’t get past her. You just learn to live with her… in a very different way than what you had ever imagined from the first time you found out you were pregnant.
The Crown Without the Trial....
I am always forthright about having eight children when people ask me how many kids I have, or when I have to list it anywhere. But, when talking about my children I usually just refer to the fact that I have seven children at home. So, I get asked frequently about the discrepancy (7 vs. 8.) The question usually comes in the form of, “I thought you said you have eight children?” That is when I tell those who ask that I have another child, my first, who passed. Usually, it’s left at that.
Although the fact that I have a child who died comes up often, her life and death are not something I often speak of. It’s not a conversation you really care to have with a complete stranger, and I have mastered the art of side-stepping others’ attempts to garner more information.
Unfortunately, July always ends up being a hard month for me. I usually fall into a significant depression and have a hard time coping with anything overly stressful. Suffice it to say, this year has been INTENSLY difficult for a myriad of reasons…
I guess, when trying to cope with the death of a child, one moves on. By moving on, I don’t mean forgetting in any way. I know there are some people in this world who just can’t get past the loss… people who virtually stop living. But, that wasn’t an option for me. Just a few months after Elisa died, I found myself married and pregnant (another story for another day). I had to pick myself up, dust myself off, and trudge on.
Now, I find myself, 14 years and 7 more children later, still trying to cope with “what might have been.”
But, I do think that, through my own experience, I have managed to finally answer the age old question, “How do you get over losing a child?”
The Answer? You don’t. You don’t get over her. You don’t get past her. You just learn to live with her… in a very different way than what you had ever imagined from the first time you found out you were pregnant.
The Crown Without the Trial....
July 22, 2010
UPDATE: Maybe my Epic-ness isn't quite as Epic as I thought???
This post is simply and update to my previous post about the EPIC failure between my brain and fingers/mouth.
First, let's establish a "pseudo-name" for my "emotional involvement" just to make life easier. Because he is a musician and is Hispanic and plays like Santana - he is shall be be hereinafter known as "Mi Santana."
It took almost a week after the EPIC incident for Mi Santana and I to actually really open up our hearts and get back to that place where we were ready to talk. We went back and forth - things teeter tottered from "good - bad - good - worse - maybe - OK - let's talk - good". But, we finally got past all the big hairy BS and made it to the same page.
Several I'm sorries, lots of deep discussion, and an understanding that we still have a lot of talking, working, and mending to do - we are keeping it together and trying to move forward. So far, so good... And, I am learning to walk away from my phone and turn it off BEFORE my emotions get the better of me. I've been turning to my guitar a lot more - so my fingers are aching. But, it's a good way for me to quell the EPIC urges and be more productive about it.
Thanks for the love and support I have gotten... I'm sure you'll hear more about Mi Santana soon enough...
First, let's establish a "pseudo-name" for my "emotional involvement" just to make life easier. Because he is a musician and is Hispanic and plays like Santana - he is shall be be hereinafter known as "Mi Santana."
It took almost a week after the EPIC incident for Mi Santana and I to actually really open up our hearts and get back to that place where we were ready to talk. We went back and forth - things teeter tottered from "good - bad - good - worse - maybe - OK - let's talk - good". But, we finally got past all the big hairy BS and made it to the same page.
Several I'm sorries, lots of deep discussion, and an understanding that we still have a lot of talking, working, and mending to do - we are keeping it together and trying to move forward. So far, so good... And, I am learning to walk away from my phone and turn it off BEFORE my emotions get the better of me. I've been turning to my guitar a lot more - so my fingers are aching. But, it's a good way for me to quell the EPIC urges and be more productive about it.
Thanks for the love and support I have gotten... I'm sure you'll hear more about Mi Santana soon enough...
July 16, 2010
I’m a Virgo Tiger in the Year of the TIGER! Grrrrr…. Rawr…
Yeah, I know – a lot of people put no stock in astrology whatsoever. But, as you know, I’m “unique”. I think astrology is interesting and, if put in proper perspective and not used as an “end all” way of managing your life, it can really help people get in touch with their strengths and weaknesses, as well as help people learn more about other people.
This does not mean that I am not a Christian!!! My feelings are, God created all the planets as he created man and everything God created was with a purpose - in a grand design that we have yet to completely comprehend. Astrology, in my opinoin, is one of those little "helps" he has given us on our journey to become better people and find our way home....
Laugh at me if you will… (let me know when you’re through thankyouverymuch.) For what it’s worth, here’s some info about ME!
Western Astrology
VIRGO:
Virgos adapt to different people and situations by finding ways to make themselves useful. To hide their vulnerability, they focus attention on what they’re doing rather than who they are. To deflect attention away from themselves, Virgos will also focus on other people by praising their talents and virtues, or by criticizing faulty behavior or personal imperfection.
Chinese Astrology
TIGER:
Let me preface this by indicating I am a WOOD TIGER. This year is the year of the METAL TIGER. There are four elements to every sign in Chinese Astrology. More on that another time… I will give the generalities of the Tiger and then follow it up with the more specifics about the Wood Tiger.
Tigers do not find worth in power or money. They will be completely honest about how they feel and expect the same of you. On the other hand, they seek approval from peers and family.
Generally, because of their charming personalities Tigers are well liked. Often, failing at a given task or being unproductive in his personal or professional life can cause a Tiger to experience a depression. Criticism from loved ones can also generate this type of Tiger reaction. Still, like all felines, Tigers always land on their feet, ready for their next act in life, pursuing it with unyielding energy and hunting it infallibly.
Tigers are also incorrigibly competitive - they simply cannot pass up a challenge, especially when honor is at stake, or they are protecting those they love. Tigers are unpredictable and it would be unwise to underestimate their reactions. They may appear cool, but they have the Big Cat's instincts to pounce at a moment's warning. Natural leaders, they have a strong sense of their own dignity, and if they find themselves in the ranks, they can be stubborn and obstinate. In positions of power they can be difficult though stimulating bosses.
Tigers are intelligent, alert, and farsighted. They have their fingers on the pulse. Good strategists and tacticians, they often have a hidden agenda. As long as they do not risk their luck too often, and keep their restless nature under control, their tactics usually pay off in life.
WOOD TIGER:
The Wood Tiger is more adaptable to working with others and therefore does not demonstrate the typical "take charge" attitude of other Tigers. The Wood element adds stability, giving him warmth of character that draws people in and makes the Tiger a popular person. They are not selfish creatures and will give their time, attention or possessions to anyone in need. These Tigers bring a solid practicality to any problem. They can control their urges to completely take over, letting others do the work. They must be aware of their slightly volatile tempers and short attention spans, and not let those characteristics get the best of them or cause them or their loved ones undue pain.
And, FINALLY!!!
VIRGO TIGER:
These Tigers can be pretty picky when it comes to choosing a partner. They have an eye for detail that can cause them to be a little neurotic at times.
So, now you know a little more about me. ;-)
This does not mean that I am not a Christian!!! My feelings are, God created all the planets as he created man and everything God created was with a purpose - in a grand design that we have yet to completely comprehend. Astrology, in my opinoin, is one of those little "helps" he has given us on our journey to become better people and find our way home....
Laugh at me if you will… (let me know when you’re through thankyouverymuch.) For what it’s worth, here’s some info about ME!
Western Astrology
VIRGO:
Virgos adapt to different people and situations by finding ways to make themselves useful. To hide their vulnerability, they focus attention on what they’re doing rather than who they are. To deflect attention away from themselves, Virgos will also focus on other people by praising their talents and virtues, or by criticizing faulty behavior or personal imperfection.
Chinese Astrology
TIGER:
Let me preface this by indicating I am a WOOD TIGER. This year is the year of the METAL TIGER. There are four elements to every sign in Chinese Astrology. More on that another time… I will give the generalities of the Tiger and then follow it up with the more specifics about the Wood Tiger.
Tigers do not find worth in power or money. They will be completely honest about how they feel and expect the same of you. On the other hand, they seek approval from peers and family.
Generally, because of their charming personalities Tigers are well liked. Often, failing at a given task or being unproductive in his personal or professional life can cause a Tiger to experience a depression. Criticism from loved ones can also generate this type of Tiger reaction. Still, like all felines, Tigers always land on their feet, ready for their next act in life, pursuing it with unyielding energy and hunting it infallibly.
Tigers are also incorrigibly competitive - they simply cannot pass up a challenge, especially when honor is at stake, or they are protecting those they love. Tigers are unpredictable and it would be unwise to underestimate their reactions. They may appear cool, but they have the Big Cat's instincts to pounce at a moment's warning. Natural leaders, they have a strong sense of their own dignity, and if they find themselves in the ranks, they can be stubborn and obstinate. In positions of power they can be difficult though stimulating bosses.
Tigers are intelligent, alert, and farsighted. They have their fingers on the pulse. Good strategists and tacticians, they often have a hidden agenda. As long as they do not risk their luck too often, and keep their restless nature under control, their tactics usually pay off in life.
WOOD TIGER:
The Wood Tiger is more adaptable to working with others and therefore does not demonstrate the typical "take charge" attitude of other Tigers. The Wood element adds stability, giving him warmth of character that draws people in and makes the Tiger a popular person. They are not selfish creatures and will give their time, attention or possessions to anyone in need. These Tigers bring a solid practicality to any problem. They can control their urges to completely take over, letting others do the work. They must be aware of their slightly volatile tempers and short attention spans, and not let those characteristics get the best of them or cause them or their loved ones undue pain.
And, FINALLY!!!
VIRGO TIGER:
These Tigers can be pretty picky when it comes to choosing a partner. They have an eye for detail that can cause them to be a little neurotic at times.
So, now you know a little more about me. ;-)
July 13, 2010
I had always hoped I would be EPIC! Just not quite like this….
EPIC… Don’t you just love that word?
That movie was EPIC!
His touchdown was EPIC!
His love for her is EPIC!
It's a word filled with such majesty, such splendor, that you don’t hear it all that often actually. In fact, I can’t recall having uttered the word in the recent past until I was talking with a friend yesterday about my really loathsome behavior toward someone I care about very much.
You see, what most of you don’t know – and what I’ve kept pretty bottled up inside – is that I have been emotionally involved with someone for several months now. Unfortunately – time together is rare and everyone knows it’s hard to keep a “long-distance romance” going (albeit he’s only in Nashville). It takes a lot of effort, work, and several other factors. Never mind at least a dozen other “complications” and issues that accompanied this pairing…
Nevertheless, love was in bloom and I was full blown, neck deep, head over heels, in love. It’s a Virgo-Capricorn pairing that simply can’t be denied…. (a topic for yet another blog)
Anyway – the romance has been up and down and all around recently – likely a good portion of that due to my ongoing battle with depression and a sharp tongue. Well, I really put my foot in it this time...
Let me share a portion of my conversation with FRIEND – I don’t think FRIEND would mind… (and I’m cleaning it up a bit for the tender eyes and thought processes of my sweet readers)
**************************************************************
ME: *sigh*grumble* Tissue... I HATE HIM! (being a drama queen)
FRIEND: u think it's for good, or just a phase, or whatever
ME: I said some pretty MESSED up CRAP to him. (not that he didn't deserve it). And he ended it this time - not me.
FRIEND: do u think u over-reacted? be honest
ME: Honest - yes
FRIEND: damnit debbie
ME: damnit FRIEND
FRIEND: why did u have to go all girl on him?
ME: But I'm not apologizing this time cuz he started it…. sort of
FRIEND: "sort of" lol nice caviat
ME: I was hurt, I lash out when I'm hurt… and I'm not nice. I'm mean. I'm mega bitch.
FRIEND: yeah, hurt me will u? KAPOW
ME: I’m mean, ultra cruel kid with a magnifying glass over an ant hill, bitch. The kind of cruel where you pull the legs off a caterpillar one by one to see if it squirms. u know - and - being the lyricist that I am - I'm cruel over and over and over in a variety of phrases.
FRIEND: so ur saying, u have no hope of getting him back
ME: No... I don't think so...
FRIEND: b/c u said some epic CRAP i'm sure
ME: I'm sure I did.
[after a review of what I said]
FRIEND: wow, ok. so yeah. u got pretty epic
ME: ya
FRIEND: wuff. Lol. u unloaded every pent up feeling you've had.
**************************************************************
I always wanted to be EPIC… like, “She has seven kids, a successful singing career, family, an incredible man who loves her and supports her, and look at all the good things she did with her fame! She is EPIC!”
Definitely never thought that my EPIC-NESS would come in the form of being the world’s biggest relationship disaster zone…. A romantic porta-potty.
An EPIC romantic porta-potty....
July 9, 2010
Is it inappropriate to have a favorite child???
I mean, really, let’s review this concept. If you only have one child, then it’s impossible to have a favorite. With two children, it might be difficult. But, as the children multiply, it seems to me that a point in time comes when you realize that maybe you do, in fact, have a favorite!
Here’s the breakdown for me:
Kidlet #1 – This would be my daughter who passed at 5 months of age. That will have to be a blog for another day… It was an accidental death – not SIDS or any other medical condition. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. And, with the anniversary of her death coming up, I think of her even more. She was my first and my life was forever changed by her for the better… my favorite for sure.
Kidlet #2 – My oldest child at home. My oldest boy. He’s 13. Absolutely EMO in every way – combination of being 13 and my child. Nevertheless, I get him. He gets me. We have a connection and a communication that I think will help keep him mostly out of trouble. He’s not afraid to talk to me about things that most kids are afraid to talk about with their parents. So, for that, I am grateful… Most definitely my favorite.
Kidlet #3 – My second oldest boy, age 11. He has a hearing impairment, but he manages to get by OK. He’s an absolute flake. I’m shocked most days that he can remember his own name. I’m pretty sure his roots are blond. That being said, this child is by far is probably my most intelligent. He can – without missing a beat – start discussing philosophy, history, or mythology over a campfire. His mind is always going. He is also the one who will step up and take responsibility when needed. If I say I need help – he is always right there without expecting any reward. Many time I have tried to reward him and he has outright refused. No question, he’s my favorite.
Kidlet #4 – The younger of my older kids, age 10. My sweet boy with Asperger’s Syndrome. I don’t get to cuddle him much as he doesn’t really like a lot of physical contact. He always keeps just enough of a distance from you to avoid the physical contact. But, he’s still a barrel of laughs. This is my funny kid. He likes to play jokes. And his laughter and smile can light up a room. The cutest little dimple in the world. He gets straight A’s and rarely gives me trouble. And, he’s SMART! Wow, this kid is just plain smart… it amazes me. TOTALLY my favorite.
Kidlets #5 & #6 – The identical twin girls!!! 8-years-old going on 20! These are my girls – they are spoiled rotten – cute as buttons – and TROUBLE with a CAPITAL T! They’re my girls!!! They let me dress them up, they borrow my hats and my earrings, I can do girl stuff with them and that is SO FREAKIN’ COOL!!!! I frequently call #5 the BRAIN and #6 the BRAWN. These two simply aren’t complete without the other… they are a team in every way. They can be fist fighting one minute, and the next minute head to head giggling over a book. I LOVE IT! The fact that they look just like me is a big ol’ bonus… These two are so completely my favorites!!!!
Kidlet #7 – My freckled faced 7-year-old boy with ADHD. While this one is my “challenge from God”, he’s also so full of love it’s ridiculous. He loves to snuggle. He loves to hug. He’s very affectionate. He laughs too hard. Smiles too big. And it’s wonderful! He has such an enthusiasm for EVERYTHING… I just love his enthusiasm… You just KNOW he's my favorite!!!
Kidlet #8 – My blond haired, blue eyed, cherub. The BABY! His smile could melt the polar ice-caps, give you cavities, and mend a broken soul. This child knows little malice – only love. Don’t get me wrong – he can be devious (as all 5-year-old boys are), but make no mistake, this child is a lover!!! AND ABSOLUTELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT, my favorite!!!!
Yup, I have a favorite…
Here’s the breakdown for me:
Kidlet #1 – This would be my daughter who passed at 5 months of age. That will have to be a blog for another day… It was an accidental death – not SIDS or any other medical condition. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. And, with the anniversary of her death coming up, I think of her even more. She was my first and my life was forever changed by her for the better… my favorite for sure.
Kidlet #2 – My oldest child at home. My oldest boy. He’s 13. Absolutely EMO in every way – combination of being 13 and my child. Nevertheless, I get him. He gets me. We have a connection and a communication that I think will help keep him mostly out of trouble. He’s not afraid to talk to me about things that most kids are afraid to talk about with their parents. So, for that, I am grateful… Most definitely my favorite.
Kidlet #3 – My second oldest boy, age 11. He has a hearing impairment, but he manages to get by OK. He’s an absolute flake. I’m shocked most days that he can remember his own name. I’m pretty sure his roots are blond. That being said, this child is by far is probably my most intelligent. He can – without missing a beat – start discussing philosophy, history, or mythology over a campfire. His mind is always going. He is also the one who will step up and take responsibility when needed. If I say I need help – he is always right there without expecting any reward. Many time I have tried to reward him and he has outright refused. No question, he’s my favorite.
Kidlet #4 – The younger of my older kids, age 10. My sweet boy with Asperger’s Syndrome. I don’t get to cuddle him much as he doesn’t really like a lot of physical contact. He always keeps just enough of a distance from you to avoid the physical contact. But, he’s still a barrel of laughs. This is my funny kid. He likes to play jokes. And his laughter and smile can light up a room. The cutest little dimple in the world. He gets straight A’s and rarely gives me trouble. And, he’s SMART! Wow, this kid is just plain smart… it amazes me. TOTALLY my favorite.
Kidlets #5 & #6 – The identical twin girls!!! 8-years-old going on 20! These are my girls – they are spoiled rotten – cute as buttons – and TROUBLE with a CAPITAL T! They’re my girls!!! They let me dress them up, they borrow my hats and my earrings, I can do girl stuff with them and that is SO FREAKIN’ COOL!!!! I frequently call #5 the BRAIN and #6 the BRAWN. These two simply aren’t complete without the other… they are a team in every way. They can be fist fighting one minute, and the next minute head to head giggling over a book. I LOVE IT! The fact that they look just like me is a big ol’ bonus… These two are so completely my favorites!!!!
Kidlet #7 – My freckled faced 7-year-old boy with ADHD. While this one is my “challenge from God”, he’s also so full of love it’s ridiculous. He loves to snuggle. He loves to hug. He’s very affectionate. He laughs too hard. Smiles too big. And it’s wonderful! He has such an enthusiasm for EVERYTHING… I just love his enthusiasm… You just KNOW he's my favorite!!!
Kidlet #8 – My blond haired, blue eyed, cherub. The BABY! His smile could melt the polar ice-caps, give you cavities, and mend a broken soul. This child knows little malice – only love. Don’t get me wrong – he can be devious (as all 5-year-old boys are), but make no mistake, this child is a lover!!! AND ABSOLUTELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT, my favorite!!!!
Yup, I have a favorite…
July 8, 2010
MY NAME IS NOT HASBRO!!!!
Do you hear that world?! My life, my family, my career will no longer be your game board!!! I will no longer be a pawn in your strategy to win and defeat the masses! I REFUSE!
2010 has beenhell rather eye-opening for me starting with ending one of the most toxic relationships I have ever been involved in. But, most particularly, the last few weeks have made me realize that life is not like a box of chocolates more like a raging case of herpes that pops up when most inconvenient. Suffice it to say, my experiences of the recent weeks have had significant emotional impact on me.
I use to believe that people were innately good. I generally gave everyone with whom I came into contact a significant amount of latitude and trust prior to forming any type of solid and experienced opinion about them. Honestly, I think that trait is one of the things that made mea massive sucker so uniquely me … Admittedly, even though I have been through hell and back in my life and have held on to some bitterness I have experienced many trials and have had challenges with forgiveness, I remained overall hopeful and optimistic toward new people and experiences.
Sadly,the immense pile of bullshit that has been dropped in my lap my experiences of recent weeks have pissed me off to the point of wanting to pack my kids, my car, and drop off grid forever affected me so deeply that I can now say, screw you world the world has reaped what it has sown in me… Consider me now just another bitter old hag member of a growing population of untrusting skeptics who will likely never be able to function in a normal romantic relationship or friendship with anyone because I have been taken advantage of and broken one too many times.
What have I learned? Well, let me share the top things:
1. As a single woman and mother who is moderately attractive, many women – particularly other single women –are catty bitches who will manipulate situations to achieve their goal and really couldn’t give a shit less about who they plow over in the process should be No. 1 on the radar of people to keep your eye on. I offer no offense to those on my lists who are single women… I’m just sayin’.... 90% of the ones I have dealt with so far have turned out to fall into this catty bitch unpleasant category. And, if any woman you don’t really know comes to you and says “You have to promise not to tell” or “This must be kept in the cone of silence” or wants you to keep it “in the vault” and then proceeds to give you what amounts to an overwhelming pile of manure helping of gossip, is someone who will turn around and stab you in the back. Moreover, what that person just told you, she has already told to a multitude of people and will go on to tell everyone else anything else to make themselves look better at any cost. This person is TOXIC! RUN LIKE HELL!
2. 99.999999% of men who use the line “I really hope you feel like you can trust me” or “Your trust is so important to me” or “I really feel like I can trust you” are only out to get a piece of ass and will turn on you at the first possibility that someone else might put out are absolutely not to be trusted. Again, run like hell!
3. The only person you can trust in this world is yourself… follow your heart, your gut, your psychic tendencies, or whatever you want to call it, and you will 99.9% of the time find yourself standing up on your feetrather than cowering in the corner of a darkened room crying for hours because once again you’ve just been emotionally raped.
4. In moments of greatest sorrow you realize who you can count on most… this is ultimately a very short list.
5. The ownership of fault accompanied by honest words of “I’m truly sorry” from someone you thought was a friend,who completely took your friendship and love for granted and left you flapping in the wind bruised and battered who hurt you, can go a long way… even so, getting back to that trust you once had may not be possible.
So that’s that… Things are gonna change up in here…
2010 has been
I use to believe that people were innately good. I generally gave everyone with whom I came into contact a significant amount of latitude and trust prior to forming any type of solid and experienced opinion about them. Honestly, I think that trait is one of the things that made me
Sadly,
What have I learned? Well, let me share the top things:
1. As a single woman and mother who is moderately attractive, many women – particularly other single women –
2. 99.999999% of men who use the line “I really hope you feel like you can trust me” or “Your trust is so important to me” or “I really feel like I can trust you” are only out to get a piece of ass and will turn on you at the first possibility that someone else might put out are absolutely not to be trusted. Again, run like hell!
3. The only person you can trust in this world is yourself… follow your heart, your gut, your psychic tendencies, or whatever you want to call it, and you will 99.9% of the time find yourself standing up on your feet
4. In moments of greatest sorrow you realize who you can count on most… this is ultimately a very short list.
5. The ownership of fault accompanied by honest words of “I’m truly sorry” from someone you thought was a friend,
So that’s that… Things are gonna change up in here…
July 6, 2010
Top Ten Reasons Fishing is Better than Sex!
1. You don't need a partner to do it.
2. You can do it with as many different people as you want, men and women, and no one will think your a slut.
3. If you catch something, you can throw it back... no antibiotics necessary.
4. You don't have to be embarrassed or come up with creative excuses if your kids find your stash of toys (boats, poles, reels, lures, etc.)
5. The more toys you have, the better it is (on the same token, partners don't freak out when you bring all your toys.)
6. You can do it in public.
7. You can do it no matter what your age and with partners of any age.
8. It doesn't matter if your forgot to shave.
9. Bragging is socially acceptable.
10. The size of the fish really doesn't matter.
***GONE FISHING***
2. You can do it with as many different people as you want, men and women, and no one will think your a slut.
3. If you catch something, you can throw it back... no antibiotics necessary.
4. You don't have to be embarrassed or come up with creative excuses if your kids find your stash of toys (boats, poles, reels, lures, etc.)
5. The more toys you have, the better it is (on the same token, partners don't freak out when you bring all your toys.)
6. You can do it in public.
7. You can do it no matter what your age and with partners of any age.
8. It doesn't matter if your forgot to shave.
9. Bragging is socially acceptable.
10. The size of the fish really doesn't matter.
***GONE FISHING***
June 15, 2010
Simply....
This is something I wrote quite a long time ago… but, it still holds true to this day.
Simply calling it "pain" cannot define the feeling of a heart as the word, in and of itself, describes nothing more than an acutely unpleasant discomfort... simply a word that construes your emotion as nothing more than a mere (albeit overwhelmingly disruptive), annoyance.
The heart is a phenomenon that mere logic cannot rationalize.
It is entwined with a mystifying and vague splendor; delicate and vulnerable to the slightest breeze; small fissures winding through its delicate frame until the effortless and blasé stings, in due course, breach the very core of the heart, shattering and condemning the once brilliant phenomenon into nothing more than a feeble organ - desperate - craving even a token display of compassion and affection.
Simply calling it "pain" cannot define the feeling of a heart as the word, in and of itself, describes nothing more than an acutely unpleasant discomfort... simply a word that construes your emotion as nothing more than a mere (albeit overwhelmingly disruptive), annoyance.
The heart is a phenomenon that mere logic cannot rationalize.
It is entwined with a mystifying and vague splendor; delicate and vulnerable to the slightest breeze; small fissures winding through its delicate frame until the effortless and blasé stings, in due course, breach the very core of the heart, shattering and condemning the once brilliant phenomenon into nothing more than a feeble organ - desperate - craving even a token display of compassion and affection.
June 14, 2010
Mommy, is "Odie" a dog???
"Odie" would be my very special furry boyfriend… the best spooner in the world, my sweet, loveable, half Sharpei, half German Shepherd, Humane Society adopted, canine companion! (Odie is a post for another day.) The one asking the question would be my 7-year-old kidlet #7. You see, this is how his oldest three siblings – by oldest three I mean, oldest brother with the loving support of his two cohorts (Kidlets #2 – the worst offender, #3, and #4) love(s) to spend their (HIS) morning(s)… torturing the freckled faced and easily provoked brother with stupid crap so that he will then come and torture me.
Naturally, when Kidlet #7 comes to me for the 5th time in the morning to harangue me with another really stupid question as a result of his brothers’ antagonizing, I eventually holler at the older ones (usually one in particular) for making my morning difficult (in more colorful terminology). That’s when I get the look of “shock and amazement” because they (HE) didn’t actually DO anything!
I’m afraid that, by the time I actually get the hang of this child-rearing thing, the children will all have grown-up and moved away. Of course – having lived in a home with seven children – I’m rather hoping they’ll have the common sense to wait a good long time before having children of their own. Don’t get me wrong – I have no real issues with becoming a grandmother (in the VERY FAR AWAY FUTURE). It’s somewhere in that 20 year plan of mine… I just hope that they will take the time to really LIVE before they get to that point. That way, they have no regrets and are prepared for the complex and ever-changing world of child rearing.
But, in the end – the moments I look forward to most are those ones that happen in the middle of the night – when there’s no one around to see or make a fuss… that moment when the child who always wants to sleep with you (Kidley #7, that 7-year-old that the older boys torture unmercifully), whom you’ve said “no” to sleeping with you over a dozen times – cuz mommies sometimes just need to sleep alone – comes into your room at 3:00 a.m. with a bad dream saying, “Mommy, can I sleep with you for the rest of the night?” There’s that moment you realize – you’re “it” for this kid… He curls up next to you, you curl up next to him, and even though you know you’re not going to get back to sleep – or at least anymore restful sleep – you’re content.
Today – I’m pretty damned content…
Naturally, when Kidlet #7 comes to me for the 5th time in the morning to harangue me with another really stupid question as a result of his brothers’ antagonizing, I eventually holler at the older ones (usually one in particular) for making my morning difficult (in more colorful terminology). That’s when I get the look of “shock and amazement” because they (HE) didn’t actually DO anything!
I’m afraid that, by the time I actually get the hang of this child-rearing thing, the children will all have grown-up and moved away. Of course – having lived in a home with seven children – I’m rather hoping they’ll have the common sense to wait a good long time before having children of their own. Don’t get me wrong – I have no real issues with becoming a grandmother (in the VERY FAR AWAY FUTURE). It’s somewhere in that 20 year plan of mine… I just hope that they will take the time to really LIVE before they get to that point. That way, they have no regrets and are prepared for the complex and ever-changing world of child rearing.
But, in the end – the moments I look forward to most are those ones that happen in the middle of the night – when there’s no one around to see or make a fuss… that moment when the child who always wants to sleep with you (Kidley #7, that 7-year-old that the older boys torture unmercifully), whom you’ve said “no” to sleeping with you over a dozen times – cuz mommies sometimes just need to sleep alone – comes into your room at 3:00 a.m. with a bad dream saying, “Mommy, can I sleep with you for the rest of the night?” There’s that moment you realize – you’re “it” for this kid… He curls up next to you, you curl up next to him, and even though you know you’re not going to get back to sleep – or at least anymore restful sleep – you’re content.
Today – I’m pretty damned content…
June 11, 2010
A word to the wise isn't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice ~ Bill Cosby
Never in a million years did I ever think I would end up back in High School in my mid-30s. I’m a mother of eight children, I have a job, a career in music, and more life experience under my belt than I care to admit. To quote my former father-in-law, “I’ve forgotten more than my children have ever learned.”
Yesterday, I found myself in the rather unique position of being launched unwillingly back into the realm of High School – if not Junior High.
I have this friend here locally who is my age. He’s male. He’s got a great voice, competed in the local West Tennessee Idol and will be starting on a demo CD here at a local studio in the near future. Well, there is this 19 year old girl here who has a “thing” for him.
Now, as most men, I’m sure he appreciates that this young girl thinks so highly of him… and by "appreciate" I mean I mean "thinks it's hot". And, I use “highly” in the very “loosest” of terms, if you get my drift.
He says she’s “just a friend”… Uh huh. Riiiiight…. A 30-something woman calling a 30-something man "just a friend" is NIGHT AND DAY from a 30-something man calling a 19-year-old child "just a friend." His reference to her is such a bad joke that a major hit song (a one hit wonder by Biz Markie, “Just a Friend”) was in the Top Ten in 1989. The mere idea that a man his age and a 19-year-old child could actually BE friends is ludicrous in and of itself.
Then again, I have always said that boys never grow up and maybe they are closer in age mentally than physically - which then presents a whole OTHER realm of issues related to teenagers being interested in nothing north of the belt line. Two people together like that and they’re “just friends”… I repeat, Riiiiight.
To quote another famous song, “If It Makes You Happy!!!!”
Anyway, I sent a late night text to this guy about a karaoke topic and, like all smart phones, it tried to predict what I was typing. Well, my “smart phone” spell predicted and it sent a word other than the word I typed. And, what it sent was so ridiculous and nonsensical that, had a normal, reasonable, and non-psychotic adult received this message, they would have known there MUST have been a typo. Alas, this man was ASLEEP and this “FRIEND” was there – because “just friends” of the opposite sex usually hang out in your bedroom while you’re sleeping at 3 a.m. She took his phone, read my message, and in her immature, stuck in high school, small town, 19-year old, narcissistic mind, decided that the message was about HER. So, she made up in her head whatever elaborate story and basically it came down to me allegedly calling her “uncooked meat”.
REALLY? SERIOUSLY???
God help me, cuz I’m ready to go Puerto Rican on someone here. I hated high school the first time around damnit…
Yesterday, I found myself in the rather unique position of being launched unwillingly back into the realm of High School – if not Junior High.
I have this friend here locally who is my age. He’s male. He’s got a great voice, competed in the local West Tennessee Idol and will be starting on a demo CD here at a local studio in the near future. Well, there is this 19 year old girl here who has a “thing” for him.
Now, as most men, I’m sure he appreciates that this young girl thinks so highly of him… and by "appreciate" I mean I mean "thinks it's hot". And, I use “highly” in the very “loosest” of terms, if you get my drift.
He says she’s “just a friend”… Uh huh. Riiiiight…. A 30-something woman calling a 30-something man "just a friend" is NIGHT AND DAY from a 30-something man calling a 19-year-old child "just a friend." His reference to her is such a bad joke that a major hit song (a one hit wonder by Biz Markie, “Just a Friend”) was in the Top Ten in 1989. The mere idea that a man his age and a 19-year-old child could actually BE friends is ludicrous in and of itself.
Then again, I have always said that boys never grow up and maybe they are closer in age mentally than physically - which then presents a whole OTHER realm of issues related to teenagers being interested in nothing north of the belt line. Two people together like that and they’re “just friends”… I repeat, Riiiiight.
To quote another famous song, “If It Makes You Happy!!!!”
Anyway, I sent a late night text to this guy about a karaoke topic and, like all smart phones, it tried to predict what I was typing. Well, my “smart phone” spell predicted and it sent a word other than the word I typed. And, what it sent was so ridiculous and nonsensical that, had a normal, reasonable, and non-psychotic adult received this message, they would have known there MUST have been a typo. Alas, this man was ASLEEP and this “FRIEND” was there – because “just friends” of the opposite sex usually hang out in your bedroom while you’re sleeping at 3 a.m. She took his phone, read my message, and in her immature, stuck in high school, small town, 19-year old, narcissistic mind, decided that the message was about HER. So, she made up in her head whatever elaborate story and basically it came down to me allegedly calling her “uncooked meat”.
REALLY? SERIOUSLY???
God help me, cuz I’m ready to go Puerto Rican on someone here. I hated high school the first time around damnit…
June 10, 2010
A Pretty Pirate I is, says me!
After only a moment of thought from Spudz, he said, “Blog about your eye!” I said, “Seriously?” He said, “Yes.” And, so it is said… so it shall be done.
Last Thursday, around bedtime, I rubbed my eye and somehow managed to get a piece of lint or something jammed up under my contact. After fussing with it and doing everything to try and work it out WITHOUT taking out my contact, I finally succumbed to the pain and took out the contact. By this time, my eye was completely red and inflamed. I looked like I had a raging case of pink-eye. Looking closely, the outline of the contact could clearly be seen in the redness.
I wake up the next morning still miserable, eyelid somewhat swollen, and intense redness. There was a moderate amount of irritation and I could not see anything coherently out of that eye. But, off to work I went.
By 3pm, the pain was searing. I finally carried my butt up to the doctor who walked in and said, “PINK EYE!” I looked at him as though he was insane. You see, country doctors don’t like to actually be doctors and find out the facts. They just come in after reading a half-illiterate nurse’s note, diagnose you without actually talking to you, write a prescription for something totally lame (and usually wrong), and send you on your merry way. Well, by golly, I was NOT going to walk out of there without a solution! Or, at least a referral to a good Ophthalmologist in Nashville.
I got him to stop and listen to me, he checked my eye with some special light, and determined that I had multiple severe corneal abrasions (but he still wrote in my chart that I had Pink Eye – to which I say – DUMBASS). They put some nasty Neosporin like goop in my eye, patched up my eye in a hasty, disheveled, it’s-4:45pm-on-Friday-and-I-want-to-go-home-so-get-this-patient-out-of-here-and-don’t-make-eye-contact-whatever-you-do-because-she-might-ask-a-question-that-I-will-have-to-answer way.
Three hours later I was on my way home, walking into the house, amidst a flurry of “MOMMY! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?!” Naturally, it’s always about what I did – never about what someone, something, or some other force did to me. I’m the screw-up. It’s ok. I’m making peace with it.
The next day I had a show. I was singing at a benefit for flood victims and I had a patch on my eye. Pirate Debbie Lee at your service! Aside from the overwhelming desire to pillage and plunder (or more appropriately be pillaged and plundered… a story for another day), I wasn’t about to let anything stop me from performing that benefit. So, I did. Eye patch wouldn’t stay on because it was hot and I was sweating like a… well, like a very hot girl!
End result – after finally obtaining a referral to an ophthalmologist whom I saw on Tuesday, my eye will be OK! My sight is returning, the abrasion is healing, and all is well on this ship for now!
But, c’mon – y’all have to admit – I made a damned pretty pirate! ARGH!
Deb
June 6, 2010
June 1, 2010
Count your many blessings… name them one by one!
I just got some of the best news ever and I’m so happy that I have decided to take a moment of my time to publicly thank God and count my blessings…
1. Life! I’m so grateful for life… It’s not an easy life all the time (if ever), but it’s my life and having come so close to losing that life not so many months ago, I am grateful to have it.
2. My children. The fact that they massively outnumber me can be overwhelming on any given day (every day), but I’m so grateful for their influence both en masse and individually. I learn something new every day.
3. Music. Everyone who knows me personally and intimately knows how important music is to me. Not just the beautiful melodies, but the words, the heart, the soul… isn’t it amazing how our darkest and most painful moments (and even our most beautiful and happy moments) can become someone else’s favorite song and speak to them in a way that nothing else can???
4. Friends. I don’t have very many. I am a pretty outgoing person, but that deep connection with other people is not something I develop easily. So, to have even just a few people I call friend is so meaningful to me. Without them – well… I would be sad.
5. Love. I have been blessed in this life to have loved and to have been loved. I’ve not always been good to those who love me and I’ve not always been good at loving. But, I like to think that I’ve matured with age and that – maybe one day – that a truly deep and meaningful love from a man, beyond that I have ever known, will be something I will be blessed to experience.
6. Fans. I'm no one really special musically. But, I'm different and I am grateful for that. I don't have a huge fan base (YET), but I do have one and for each and everyone of those fans who are consistently giving me love and encouragement - THANK YOU! From the very bottom of my heart.
7. My JOB. It's nothing major. But, I'm grateful for it nevertheless. Really, I am - even on Mondays.
8. My parents. They have helped me a lot and I'm who I am today because of their influence. So, for that I must be eternally grateful.
9. My dog. He's just the best. He's my furry boyfriend and I love him!!!! He's the best spooner around and no matter what kind of mood I'm in - he loves me unconditionally. Frederick Odiferous Masticus Swineus Barkius Lickius Gluteous Maximus (aka Odie) is my pal... And he never tells my secret baked bean recipe. ;-)
10. Last, and certainly not lease, my God! What a GREAT GOD HE IS! I’m not perfect and I never will be. I sin more frequently than I care to admit. Thankfully, he is a forgiving God and he has – what I can only assume is – a GREAT sense of humor. Most days I feel like I am his personal comic fodder. But, in the end, I can laugh at myself with Him and I know HE loves me and will not let me perish.
Deb
P.S. The awesome news is that the money has come in for the new song!!! And, we will be in studio in short order – so keep your eyes open for the release of Bring it Back Home!
1. Life! I’m so grateful for life… It’s not an easy life all the time (if ever), but it’s my life and having come so close to losing that life not so many months ago, I am grateful to have it.
2. My children. The fact that they massively outnumber me can be overwhelming on any given day (every day), but I’m so grateful for their influence both en masse and individually. I learn something new every day.
3. Music. Everyone who knows me personally and intimately knows how important music is to me. Not just the beautiful melodies, but the words, the heart, the soul… isn’t it amazing how our darkest and most painful moments (and even our most beautiful and happy moments) can become someone else’s favorite song and speak to them in a way that nothing else can???
4. Friends. I don’t have very many. I am a pretty outgoing person, but that deep connection with other people is not something I develop easily. So, to have even just a few people I call friend is so meaningful to me. Without them – well… I would be sad.
5. Love. I have been blessed in this life to have loved and to have been loved. I’ve not always been good to those who love me and I’ve not always been good at loving. But, I like to think that I’ve matured with age and that – maybe one day – that a truly deep and meaningful love from a man, beyond that I have ever known, will be something I will be blessed to experience.
6. Fans. I'm no one really special musically. But, I'm different and I am grateful for that. I don't have a huge fan base (YET), but I do have one and for each and everyone of those fans who are consistently giving me love and encouragement - THANK YOU! From the very bottom of my heart.
7. My JOB. It's nothing major. But, I'm grateful for it nevertheless. Really, I am - even on Mondays.
8. My parents. They have helped me a lot and I'm who I am today because of their influence. So, for that I must be eternally grateful.
9. My dog. He's just the best. He's my furry boyfriend and I love him!!!! He's the best spooner around and no matter what kind of mood I'm in - he loves me unconditionally. Frederick Odiferous Masticus Swineus Barkius Lickius Gluteous Maximus (aka Odie) is my pal... And he never tells my secret baked bean recipe. ;-)
10. Last, and certainly not lease, my God! What a GREAT GOD HE IS! I’m not perfect and I never will be. I sin more frequently than I care to admit. Thankfully, he is a forgiving God and he has – what I can only assume is – a GREAT sense of humor. Most days I feel like I am his personal comic fodder. But, in the end, I can laugh at myself with Him and I know HE loves me and will not let me perish.
Deb
P.S. The awesome news is that the money has come in for the new song!!! And, we will be in studio in short order – so keep your eyes open for the release of Bring it Back Home!
May 31, 2010
New Song - Need Your Help!
Hey y'all! A new friend and talented songwriter, Andrea Mendoza-Williams, and I have collaborated on a fabulous new Blues song entitled "Bring it Back Home". Both Andrea and I are single mothers with 13 children respectively. We both have an unabiding faith in God as well as unwaivering love for and commitment to raising our children with a belief that they can achieve anything they put their minds to. The best to do that is to teach by example!
To see the dream of recording this song realized, it will take help from friends, family, and fans. Please consider donating to the costs of recording this amazing new song. The total cost on this song for studio time, musicians, production and engineering will be $700. If any of you are familiar with studio costs and production, you'll know that this is a really fabulous price for the caliber of production we will be receiving!
For all those who donate $20 or more, you will receive an autographed CD and special, handwritten note of thanks from both Andrea and me! All donations are being accepted through PayPal. Please contact me privately for the paypal address. We will keep you posted on the progress.
So, please consider donating to the cause... xoxoxo
Deb
To see the dream of recording this song realized, it will take help from friends, family, and fans. Please consider donating to the costs of recording this amazing new song. The total cost on this song for studio time, musicians, production and engineering will be $700. If any of you are familiar with studio costs and production, you'll know that this is a really fabulous price for the caliber of production we will be receiving!
For all those who donate $20 or more, you will receive an autographed CD and special, handwritten note of thanks from both Andrea and me! All donations are being accepted through PayPal. Please contact me privately for the paypal address. We will keep you posted on the progress.
So, please consider donating to the cause... xoxoxo
Deb
May 29, 2010
Happy Memorial Day Weekend
I just want to wish everyone a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. Remember those who have lost their lives in wars of the present and the past. Remember your soldiers, alive and fallen. We have the freedom we have because of soldiers of the past and we will, if it please God, continue to have our freedom thanks to the soldiers of the present and future.
And, if you have a moment this weekend - do some volunteer work for someone less fortunate than you, or someone struggling. You'll never know just how much one kind work can do...
xoxoxo
And, if you have a moment this weekend - do some volunteer work for someone less fortunate than you, or someone struggling. You'll never know just how much one kind work can do...
xoxoxo
May 27, 2010
City of Dreams
Hello everyone. I would just like to pass along this wonderful YouTube video that several artists came together to do, one of which is my personal friend, Buddy Jewell. So, please take a look at this video and, if you can take your time this weekend - even just a few hours - to help in the volunteer effort to get families back on their feet and back into their homes, that would be great. Please remember that even if you only help one, it matters to the one. xoxoxo
And, when you're finished watching the video, please stop by my friend Buddy Jewell's page and listen to his latest song, "Somebody Who Would Die For You." It's a touching song from a man with a voice smooth as butter.
Deb
And, when you're finished watching the video, please stop by my friend Buddy Jewell's page and listen to his latest song, "Somebody Who Would Die For You." It's a touching song from a man with a voice smooth as butter.
Deb
May 26, 2010
Stiletto Suicide
I had the displeasure recently of watching a woman walk across the parking lot at the courthouse. She caught my eye... Not because she was devastatingly beautiful. She was certainly reasonably attractive. Not because of her outfit. Not because she was the only person to look at. It was the way she walked. Or, should I say, the way she failed to walk.
Ladies, we all love shoes. It's a girl thing. And, most of us love heels. For me, the higher the heel the higher my spirits. I love high, high heels. Stripper shoes. You know what I'm talking about don't you? Those high platform stilettos! Mmmmm... It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside just thinking about it.
I suppose it has something to do with my short stature. Standing at just 5'3.5" (that half inch matters after having shrunk a full inch somewhere in the last 15 years), I have a bit of paranoia about being short. I don't like it. The fact that the stilettos make me not only taller, but make my butt look fabulous - well, that's a big ol' BONUS in my book!
I digress... Back to the woman. She was wearing a pair of stilettos. Chica couldn't walk in them. She was so stiff, I thought she might fall over if the wind blew at all. C'mon now... Don't lie and tell me you haven't seen this before. Admit it - you've all seen it. A nice looking, nicely dressed woman, who ruins the whole package by simply not knowing how to walk in heels!
LADIES! It's ok not to wear heels. In fact, if you don't know how to walk in them, please DON'T! Heels are like a power tool. Yielded by the uneducated, untrained, and careless, they can be a deadly weapon - unfortunately they are deadly to the wearer. We'll call it Stiletto Suicide.
Now, if yielded by the trained and savy lady, it is also a deadly weapon! Just ask the local police department who has to come out and every time I go to the post office for accident control (a bit of an exaggeration - but not by much I assure you).
If you ladies do choose to wear heels knowing that you probably are one of the aforementioned “Stiletto Suicide” girls, then I suggest taking a class. No, I'm not kidding. Take a stripper class, take a dance class, find your center of gravity and do it in heels! If you can't find a class, find a lady who knows how to get her groove on in heels and ask her for HELP!
Get comfortable! Embrace your butt... Swing it girls... Left, right, left, right, left! Trust me, ain't much in the world men like better than watchin' a pretty girl stroll down the street in a nice pair of jeans and stilettos... (When she knows how to work them).
For the rest of you willing to admit that you can't walk in heels and are considering hanging them up for good... Well, there's no shame in admitting defeat. Hang up those heels and wear those flats to the best of your ability. Own 'em! You go'on with your bad self. There's nothing like a woman who looks like she owns it, and walks like she owns it - heels or flats.
OWN IT LADIES!
I'm going for a walk.... ;-)
Ladies, we all love shoes. It's a girl thing. And, most of us love heels. For me, the higher the heel the higher my spirits. I love high, high heels. Stripper shoes. You know what I'm talking about don't you? Those high platform stilettos! Mmmmm... It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside just thinking about it.
I suppose it has something to do with my short stature. Standing at just 5'3.5" (that half inch matters after having shrunk a full inch somewhere in the last 15 years), I have a bit of paranoia about being short. I don't like it. The fact that the stilettos make me not only taller, but make my butt look fabulous - well, that's a big ol' BONUS in my book!
I digress... Back to the woman. She was wearing a pair of stilettos. Chica couldn't walk in them. She was so stiff, I thought she might fall over if the wind blew at all. C'mon now... Don't lie and tell me you haven't seen this before. Admit it - you've all seen it. A nice looking, nicely dressed woman, who ruins the whole package by simply not knowing how to walk in heels!
LADIES! It's ok not to wear heels. In fact, if you don't know how to walk in them, please DON'T! Heels are like a power tool. Yielded by the uneducated, untrained, and careless, they can be a deadly weapon - unfortunately they are deadly to the wearer. We'll call it Stiletto Suicide.
Now, if yielded by the trained and savy lady, it is also a deadly weapon! Just ask the local police department who has to come out and every time I go to the post office for accident control (a bit of an exaggeration - but not by much I assure you).
If you ladies do choose to wear heels knowing that you probably are one of the aforementioned “Stiletto Suicide” girls, then I suggest taking a class. No, I'm not kidding. Take a stripper class, take a dance class, find your center of gravity and do it in heels! If you can't find a class, find a lady who knows how to get her groove on in heels and ask her for HELP!
Get comfortable! Embrace your butt... Swing it girls... Left, right, left, right, left! Trust me, ain't much in the world men like better than watchin' a pretty girl stroll down the street in a nice pair of jeans and stilettos... (When she knows how to work them).
For the rest of you willing to admit that you can't walk in heels and are considering hanging them up for good... Well, there's no shame in admitting defeat. Hang up those heels and wear those flats to the best of your ability. Own 'em! You go'on with your bad self. There's nothing like a woman who looks like she owns it, and walks like she owns it - heels or flats.
OWN IT LADIES!
I'm going for a walk.... ;-)
May 24, 2010
Please Hear My Prayer
Please check out this music video I created for the song I wrote and recorded.
The intent of this video is #1 - to bring attention to the needs of victims of the recent floods in Tennessee. So many more volunteers are needed and so much more help, so many more supplies, and support are required to help these people find peace again. #2 - I hope it will be an anthem for future victims of natural disasters and other life tragedies... a song that will help them somehow, in some way, understand that there are others out there who understand and care about what they are going through.
Thanks!
An MP3 of this song can be purchased and downloaded at:
http://www.arkade.com/artists/DebbieLeeTorres-music.aspx
The intent of this video is #1 - to bring attention to the needs of victims of the recent floods in Tennessee. So many more volunteers are needed and so much more help, so many more supplies, and support are required to help these people find peace again. #2 - I hope it will be an anthem for future victims of natural disasters and other life tragedies... a song that will help them somehow, in some way, understand that there are others out there who understand and care about what they are going through.
Thanks!
An MP3 of this song can be purchased and downloaded at:
http://www.arkade.com/artists/DebbieLeeTorres-music.aspx
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