Never in a million years did I ever think I would end up back in High School in my mid-30s. I’m a mother of eight children, I have a job, a career in music, and more life experience under my belt than I care to admit. To quote my former father-in-law, “I’ve forgotten more than my children have ever learned.”
Yesterday, I found myself in the rather unique position of being launched unwillingly back into the realm of High School – if not Junior High.
I have this friend here locally who is my age. He’s male. He’s got a great voice, competed in the local West Tennessee Idol and will be starting on a demo CD here at a local studio in the near future. Well, there is this 19 year old girl here who has a “thing” for him.
Now, as most men, I’m sure he appreciates that this young girl thinks so highly of him… and by "appreciate" I mean I mean "thinks it's hot". And, I use “highly” in the very “loosest” of terms, if you get my drift.
He says she’s “just a friend”… Uh huh. Riiiiight…. A 30-something woman calling a 30-something man "just a friend" is NIGHT AND DAY from a 30-something man calling a 19-year-old child "just a friend." His reference to her is such a bad joke that a major hit song (a one hit wonder by Biz Markie, “Just a Friend”) was in the Top Ten in 1989. The mere idea that a man his age and a 19-year-old child could actually BE friends is ludicrous in and of itself.
Then again, I have always said that boys never grow up and maybe they are closer in age mentally than physically - which then presents a whole OTHER realm of issues related to teenagers being interested in nothing north of the belt line. Two people together like that and they’re “just friends”… I repeat, Riiiiight.
To quote another famous song, “If It Makes You Happy!!!!”
Anyway, I sent a late night text to this guy about a karaoke topic and, like all smart phones, it tried to predict what I was typing. Well, my “smart phone” spell predicted and it sent a word other than the word I typed. And, what it sent was so ridiculous and nonsensical that, had a normal, reasonable, and non-psychotic adult received this message, they would have known there MUST have been a typo. Alas, this man was ASLEEP and this “FRIEND” was there – because “just friends” of the opposite sex usually hang out in your bedroom while you’re sleeping at 3 a.m. She took his phone, read my message, and in her immature, stuck in high school, small town, 19-year old, narcissistic mind, decided that the message was about HER. So, she made up in her head whatever elaborate story and basically it came down to me allegedly calling her “uncooked meat”.
God help me, cuz I’m ready to go Puerto Rican on someone here. I hated high school the first time around damnit…