July 8, 2010


Do you hear that world?! My life, my family, my career will no longer be your game board!!! I will no longer be a pawn in your strategy to win and defeat the masses! I REFUSE!

2010 has been hell rather eye-opening for me starting with ending one of the most toxic relationships I have ever been involved in. But, most particularly, the last few weeks have made me realize that life is not like a box of chocolates more like a raging case of herpes that pops up when most inconvenient. Suffice it to say, my experiences of the recent weeks have had significant emotional impact on me.

I use to believe that people were innately good. I generally gave everyone with whom I came into contact a significant amount of latitude and trust prior to forming any type of solid and experienced opinion about them. Honestly, I think that trait is one of the things that made me a massive sucker so uniquely me … Admittedly, even though I have been through hell and back in my life and have held on to some bitterness I have experienced many trials and have had challenges with forgiveness, I remained overall hopeful and optimistic toward new people and experiences.

Sadly, the immense pile of bullshit that has been dropped in my lap my experiences of recent weeks have pissed me off to the point of wanting to pack my kids, my car, and drop off grid forever affected me so deeply that I can now say, screw you world the world has reaped what it has sown in me… Consider me now just another bitter old hag member of a growing population of untrusting skeptics who will likely never be able to function in a normal romantic relationship or friendship with anyone because I have been taken advantage of and broken one too many times.

What have I learned? Well, let me share the top things:

1. As a single woman and mother who is moderately attractive, many women – particularly other single women – are catty bitches who will manipulate situations to achieve their goal and really couldn’t give a shit less about who they plow over in the process should be No. 1 on the radar of people to keep your eye on. I offer no offense to those on my lists who are single women… I’m just sayin’.... 90% of the ones I have dealt with so far have turned out to fall into this catty bitch unpleasant category. And, if any woman you don’t really know comes to you and says “You have to promise not to tell” or “This must be kept in the cone of silence” or wants you to keep it “in the vault” and then proceeds to give you what amounts to an overwhelming pile of manure helping of gossip, is someone who will turn around and stab you in the back. Moreover, what that person just told you, she has already told to a multitude of people and will go on to tell everyone else anything else to make themselves look better at any cost. This person is TOXIC! RUN LIKE HELL!

2. 99.999999% of men who use the line “I really hope you feel like you can trust me” or “Your trust is so important to me” or “I really feel like I can trust you” are only out to get a piece of ass and will turn on you at the first possibility that someone else might put out are absolutely not to be trusted. Again, run like hell!

3. The only person you can trust in this world is yourself… follow your heart, your gut, your psychic tendencies, or whatever you want to call it, and you will 99.9% of the time find yourself standing up on your feet rather than cowering in the corner of a darkened room crying for hours because once again you’ve just been emotionally raped.

4. In moments of greatest sorrow you realize who you can count on most… this is ultimately a very short list.

5. The ownership of fault accompanied by honest words of “I’m truly sorry” from someone you thought was a friend, who completely took your friendship and love for granted and left you flapping in the wind bruised and battered who hurt you, can go a long way… even so, getting back to that trust you once had may not be possible.

So that’s that… Things are gonna change up in here…


  1. I know where you are coming from...My dislike/untrust came from my high school days...Girls and boys equally the same taunted me over my looks,scareface was their name for me...I have always kept people at arms length for trust is a small word but a vast meaning...hang in there I have found their still are a few of us out there.x.

  2. Too sad that we sometimes have to go through these situations in our life to learn...but life is but a school...and some learn early and some late....the important thing is to learn...and seems to me that you're learning a lot that will make you a stronger person. Don't give up. There are a "few" good people out there....but in all the masses in the world, it takes time, patience and a good search to find them.